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By Neal
It sounds hard to believe that there could be an end to all the problems of humanity, we have so many. Could there possibly be one solution to anxiety, depression, unhappiness, war, hunger, poverty, disease and even death? As hard as it might be to imagine, it’s true, one realization and a determination to change is all it takes.
Only one change in human perspective can eliminate all this suffering. All this can change when we realize that this self we are living as and identifying as is only a figment of our imagination, a story we keep telling ourselves. A story that we developed over time as we tried to fit in with others. The natural and powerful desire to fit in and be accepted by others is ironically what leads us away from our true self.. If we cannot be our true self, then no matter how much others might accept and even praise us we never feel accepted. It’s not our true self being accepted but the personna a mask that we wear to meet the standards and expectations of others. Our true self exists outside of all these self imposed identities and characteristics. The way we become our true self is not by learning things or adding things but by letting go of what is not true, what is not who we truly are.
The constant energy and attention we put into keeping up this mask is the cause of our inability to see that world as it is. This leads to suffering for ourselves, others and ultimately the world.
An example would be irritation with a coworker or boss at work. Such a conflict could cause an unpleasant relationship for years. Instead if we realize that we only feel uncomfortable with them because their conceptions and expectations of how things should be don’t match ours. When we look at it this way then our self or ego is not hurt by them because we know their reactions to us are not personal but coming from how their mind is programmed. And our reactions to them are coming from our programming. Take the extreme example of war. You have people that are willing to kill each other for no reason other than they have taken on identities and a set of narratives, and are willing to die for them. These narratives give them a sense of belonging to a certain group, making them feel that sense of belonging, fitting in. Because of what they have taken into their minds, they are not able to see the truth that they are no different from the enemy except for their programming.
You probably think: “if I’m not myself then what am I?” “I have my beliefs, my standards, my principles, my goals, my desires, my status, my accomplishments, my failures, my knowledge of right and wrong, my problems and suffering, my affiliations and identities.” “These things make up who I am and I’ll stand by them and defend them.” I have to prove to the world that I am worthy of respect and what I believe is right and true.” What if I told you that all these things do not exist in the world, they only exist in your mind and nowhere else. What if I told you that all these things don’t make up who you are but are actually preventing you from being who you truly are. They are a kind of prison that you trapped yourself in. You most likely won’t believe it because if you never experienced the freedom and scope of who you truly are, there is no way to know your restrictions, only when you are free of them can you realize it. It’s hard to realize how much we are confined by all our conceptions since we live in a world where everyone else is also confined by theirs.
You might also wonder, what about my goals and ambitions, what happens to them? Actually you will find they become much easier to achieve. The mind is not tied to the ego and confined to fixed ideas. We lose the fears that hold us back from trying things. We can see things more clearly, without the conceptions that limit us. We have a wider view of things. We can understand and communicate with people better. We can make better decisions because we are not triggered by the many things that clutter our minds. All of these changes make achieving any goal easier whether it is personal improvement, business, relationships or any other goal.
Coming out of that prison seems to be the hardest thing for us to do. Only a few people throughout human history have been able to do it and at the same time it is the easiest thing to do. How can it be so easy? It’s easy because the bars of this prison only exist in our imagination. What could be easier than just being who you really are?
So, how do we get out? The first step is to consider that you might be more than you think you are. Next be willing to find out what lies behind the mask you have been wearing. The third step is to realize that the only way you will ever know who you truly are is to let go of the thoughts and the story that you are trapped in. This takes a leap of faith because even if you realize how you are controlled by these things, you have already become comfortable in this prison you created and you don’t know what the alternative is. You might look at it cautiously by thinking: “if I’m not this then I have to become something else. What should I be?” You have the feeling of not wanting to let go of one place of security until you have prepared another place of security. But this is not how we get to the truth of who we are.
To come to the truth of who we are and escape from the prison we have been living in, it’s not about becoming something else. It’s about letting go of all that we define ourselves with and after we do, only our true self remains. Our true self can never be lost under any circumstances. It is hidden under the mask we created. We thought we needed this mask to fit into the world but having a false me fit in is not that same as having the true me fit in. After you surrender everything that made up the self that you lived in, you’ll find total peace because there is nothing left to protect. You begin to see the world in a way that is no longer blocked by the existence of that false self that absorbed so much attention. You are able to see more and appreciate more. You have total security because you see yourself as a wider existence, one that is not struggling to feel connected to the world but one that is the world. You will find that when you find that peace and unshakable confidence, others not only accept you but want to be around you.
To uncover and become our true self it takes time and dedication. This is almost impossible to do on your own. It is most easily done when you have three things: 1) A master that has already done it themselves, 2) A method to follow, created by such a master, and 3) Other people to do it with you to give help and support.
The meditation method that I followed had all three of these. The master who developed this method became enlightened in 1996 and since then has dedicated his life to teaching others how to reach the Truth. He developed a systematic easy to follow method to discard all the false and delusional minds we hold, using seven different techniques. Finally, there is a worldwide community with local centers and teachers that give you individual attention on your journey. The most important thing though is that it works.
Through practicing this meditation method and breaking away from that self-imposed prison, I took on a completely different view of the world and everyone in it. I could appreciate people and the world for what they are, not how they related to me. Judgements disappeared, conflicts disappeared and the need for so many kinds of things both emotional and material disappeared. Before meditation I used to see people both past and present, judging their qualities and faults, how they treated me and so on. Now I see them only with love and appreciation.
I realized that when I was living as that false self, I saw everything through the lens of the self. I looked at things as how they applied to me with comparisons, judgements, gain, loss, my standards, how others see me and on and on. After becoming free from the self, all of that vanished and I could appreciate everything just as it was. Awareness and appreciation increased so much because my attention wasn’t wasted on those old thoughts and concerns. It was a true sense of freedom that continues to grow.
After these changes, my relationship with my wife improved because I could appreciate her for her qualities and not judge her by my standards and expectations. Worklife also improved, in the past I was always uncomfortable with my manager. He tended to be kind of obsessive about things and unnecessarily critical. In the past I would just sit through his tantrums just listening but feeling frustrated. Now I feel free to communicate more and little by little made him realize that some of his concerns and worries were unnecessary. This has created an atmosphere of mutual appreciation and open communication, which contributed to true improvement in the department processes. Most important though is that my mind is quiet and peaceful and I can accomplish whatever I have to do almost effortlessly.
Having seen and experienced both ways of being and the complete difference, I want to urge everyone to give it a try. Don’t be afraid of losing anything. Your true self can never be lost and it is your hidden treasure!
