By Joana
I didn’t truly understand when my meditation teacher suggested abandoning wealth and prosperity, until today. Of course, I had caught a glimpse of it through a clear and simple explanation: “If we only follow wealth, we will lose sight of the true values of human life.” But that was just my rational understanding. It wasn’t until I truly felt and understood it from the heart that I could begin to live by this motto.
I was brought up in a loving, middle-class family. I was lucky, we never lacked anything. In fact, maybe we even had too much at times. My sister and I had caring parents and many aunts and grandparents who looked after us and gave us plenty of toys and recognition. I felt joy when I received something, but that joy never lasted long. It only made me want more. Not because I wanted the material things themselves, but because I was chasing the feeling they gave me inside.
As I grew older, I numbed myself to that desire, because deep down I knew that this wasn’t real joy. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep that joy alive.
We all know, or at least feel deep inside, that if we cling to something that can be broken or disappear, it will ultimately create suffering. So we search endlessly for something better, more permanent, maybe even eternal. If there is something more permanent, then putting our energy into chasing material things we’ve been looking in the wrong place all along? What if it isn’t to be found in material things?
We all know, deep down, that it can’t be.
So we look for it in recognition, in relationships, in anything outside of us that we can attach meaning to. But sooner or later we realise that this, too, brings only short-term pleasure. It’s fleeting. We realise that life is fleeting, and whether we were considered high or low by others, it doesn’t really mean anything. So, what’s the point?
We have to look inside.
And what do we find there? Everything we’ve taken in from the outside. But what was originally inside me before I was molded by the world? My pure, empty mind, full of wisdom, wonder and lasting joy.
I am not originally negative, no!
That comes from all the mental baggage I’ve collected. The pictures of the moment I got my first toy and felt joy, of the recognition I received from my parents when I got good grades, of my first friendship and how it made me feel. My body recorded it all in my mind. These all seem like positive things, but once they were stored in my mind, it began to compare them with everything else that I experienced.
My thoughts and feelings are built on old memories, all rooted in the earliest ones. It becomes a never-ending cycle. The reality in front of me doesn’t match what I’ve stored inside, so I chase more of what I think brought me happiness, trying to recreate it. But it never feels the same, it’s no longer fresh. I’m just stacking new copies on top of old ones. And that’s what I’m living with.
Even though those moments are long gone, I still cling to them in my mind. I keep burying what’s inside me under more and more layers. I feel increasingly numb and empty. I try to accumulate wealth and success, but it feels hollow.
I tried to possess things that can’t be possessed: good feelings, material things, people I met, experiences I had. My mind was capturing snapshots of them, and I believed this was how to live, by collecting more snapshots and holding onto them tightly. But it only left me feeling numb and lost.
Now I see this clearly, because I’ve been looking inside and slowly uncovering what has been buried under all those pictures, by discarding them. I learned this from my meditation teacher, who wrote the opening lines that inspired me to write this. I learned how to let go of the pictures, to release my mental possessions, the copies of the world I had greedily clung to. All those pictures did was to make me want more.
Now, as I gradually purify what I once held so tightly, I feel an immense relief. My natural state of mind is slowly emerging. I see the world with fresh eyes, not looking at it through past impressions and desires. Before, reality was standing in the way of realizing the world that I created out of those stored pictures. This caused frustration, feeling like circumstances were what stood in the way of my happiness. I now realise that all these things simply happened, but I thought they were happening to me. I chose to hold on, because I didn’t know any better. I took the picture, and I believed in it rather than being open and accepting of what came my way.
And that’s okay. Now I know better.
Now I have learned a method to uncover my true mind. This is the healthiest state of mind: when even the illusion of the self has been released, and I can fully feel and know the original mind that has been hidden all this time. I get the chance to start again, recreated from that pure existence.
But again, I only understood this after practicing, again and again, the letting go of my pictures. Only through letting go can I confirm this truth, and live by it without losing it again. Sometimes, even a bit of science or literature helps me find the pictures and identify them as such, so I can finally let them go. I highly recommend starting this method of meditation, that allows you to free yourself of what you hold in your mind. A book I can recommend to help you understand the importance of such a practice is No Self, No Problem – Awakening to Our True Nature by Chris Niebauer, Ph.D., which is based on neuroscience and research into consciousness.
Every day feels to me like a new era.
Everything is evolving around us.
Now is the time to evolve within.
I am grateful to be alive at this time and to have this extraordinary opportunity to return to our most beautiful and natural state, by letting go of wealth and prosperity and so much more from within the mind.
It is perfectly fine to have things and live well, but I no longer cling to the image of them in my mind or depend on them for happiness.
In this way, we can truly live to the fullest, with our healthiest mind.
Thank you.
Joana
